• The Meadow Speaks
  • Posts
  • You leave the church and suddenly realize you've been living in a friendship bubble that wasn't really about you at all.

You leave the church and suddenly realize you've been living in a friendship bubble that wasn't really about you at all.

Why you may be reclaiming your freedom and also grieving your identity.

Quote of the day:

“You were taught to believe that obedience was your identity.
But the real you was always buried underneath the silence.”

Brittany Packnett Cunningham

You leave the church and suddenly realize you've been living in a friendship bubble that wasn't really about you at all.

Those Wednesday night Bible studies? The Sunday morning coffee conversations? The group texts about prayer requests? Those were less about connection and more about conformity. You didn’t realize it until you chose to walk away.

And now you're sitting in your living room - maybe in the same small town where you've lived your whole life, surrounded by people who've known you since you were five - and you've never felt more alone.

Because here's what nobody tells you about leaving: You don't just lose a belief system. You lose your entire social infrastructure. Your built-in community. Your automatic belonging.

Church gives you instant people who think exactly like you're supposed to think and believe. But authentic spiritual growth? That's messy. Individual. Beautifully, terrifyingly different for everyone.

So you're out here trying to find your people - the ones who understand why you can't just "pray about it" anymore, who get why certain songs make you change the radio station, who know the difference between spiritual growth and spiritual bypassing.

And you're being careful, aren't you? Because you've learned that not every spiritual space is safe. That some healers are just preachers with crystals. That you can trade one form of manipulation for another if you're not paying attention.

The loneliness feels unbearable sometimes. Especially when you drive past that church you used to call home and see all those cars in the parking lot, knowing there's laughter and fellowship and the illusion of certainty happening inside.

But here's what I need you to know: This isolation isn't punishment for leaving. It's the space where you discover who you actually are when you're not performing for approval.

Your real people are out there. They're probably feeling just as isolated as you are right now. They're probably wondering if anyone else understands this strange, beautiful journey from conformity to authenticity.

You're not too much for them. You're not too weird. You're not too broken from your church days or too cautious about what comes next.

You're exactly what someone else is looking for too.

The belonging you're seeking isn't in another building with another set of rules. It's in the courage to keep showing up as yourself until you find the people brave enough to do the same.

If you're reading this and thinking "She gets it" - you're not alone in this journey.

I've created a private, free Facebook group specifically for women navigating life after leaving the church. It's a safe space where you can ask questions without judgment, share your story without having to explain yourself, and connect with other women who understand exactly what you're going through.

No spiritual bypassing. No toxic positivity. Just real women having real conversations about the messy, beautiful process of rebuilding your life on your own terms.

Because here's what I know after 19 years of walking this path: There IS hope. There IS a future beyond the fear. And there IS connection waiting for you.

Your people are looking for you too. Come find us!

🎨 Simple art you can do right now: Mirror Drawing

Stand in front of a mirror.
Gaze softly at your own reflection—not with judgment, but with curiosity.
This is not who you’ve been told to be.
This is who is still here.

Now, take a piece of paper and draw your face. Not for beauty. For truth.

Then, write beneath it:
“I am the one I’ve been waiting for.”

And let your hand remember what it feels like to create without control by doodling freely, swirls, circles, curly-q’s - whatever feels right!

Source: newching.com

 🔥 3 Ways to Reclaim Yourself After Religious Identity Loss

Make space for the silence.
You’re not empty. You’re clearing.
Let the stillness stretch. This is where the real you starts to speak.

Find joy that’s not “spiritual.”
Laugh. Dance. Kiss. Paint messy things.
Let yourself experience the sacred outside of scripture.
It’s still holy. So are you.

Write your own name tag.
Forget “servant,” “helper,” “prayer warrior.”
What’s your title now?

Try this one on:

I am becoming more of me every day. And that is more than enough.

60-Second Energy Reset: “Crown Pull” from Donna Eden

For clearing mental confusion and energetic overload when you’ve lost yourself in everyone else’s expectations.

This move helps open up space in the head, release mental pressure, and reconnect you to you.

How to Do It:

  1. Place your thumbs at your temples and your fingertips at the center of your forehead.

  2. Press in gently, take a breath, and slowly pull your fingers apart across your forehead—as if you’re parting a curtain.

  3. Move up a little, press in again, and pull apart across the top of your head.

  4. Repeat this “pulling open” motion 3–4 times, moving back over your crown and down toward the base of your neck.

  5. End by placing your hands on your heart and breathing deeply.

Why It Works:

  • Releases energetic congestion from overthinking and identity collapse.

  • Helps restore flow to your central meridian and clarity to the mind.

  • Symbolically “opens” you back to your own intuitive voice—your real self.

  • Repeat 3 times, slowly.

A glimmer…
If you saw a glimmer of yourself in this newsletter… Unchurching the Soul was made for you.

It’s not just a book. It’s a course in disguise—a guide through the shadows of conditioning and into your own authentic truth. If you’re in the thick of the unraveling that happens when you leave religion, this is for you. 40+ pages of in depth topics, including Naming losses and honoring your emotions, What you were taught vs. what’s true, How to pray again, how to trust again, how to begin again, Somatic practices for releasing stored trauma, Understanding and tending to unexpected emotional waves, and a FAQ section where I share answers I discovered on my exodus from religion journey.

P.S.
If no one’s told you lately—
you are not too late to become who you were always meant to be.
You didn’t lose yourself.
You were buried beneath expectation.
And now, love…
you’re coming back to life.
I see you. And I’m walking with you. 💛

What do you miss most about the automatic community church provided?

Did something resonate today? Tell me.
I read every single reply, because your voice matters to me!
So don’t stay silent. I’m listening! Keep choosing yourself. Again and again. I’ll be here, cheering you on!

I love you.

Debby