When Religion Gaslit You Into Thinking 'God's Voice' was the Enemy

I was taught that my emotions were suspicious, unstable and wavering.

The church teaches that emotions are flesh-driven and dangerous.

“A fool expresses all his emotions, but a wise person holds them back”. Proverbs 29:11

When I cried, I was “too emotional.”
When I questioned, I was “too rebellious.”
And when I felt anxiety, I was “under spiritual attack.”

So I learned to stuff it all down, toughen up, and perform peace while I was holding all the emotions inside.
And the OG -quote scripture when I really needed help.

They told me emotions were the enemy of discernment.

But now I know… Holding in emotions and storing them in the body without an outlet - leads to disease in the body.

And now I know that my emotions and my intuition WAS discernment.
It was the first signal from my body, my spirit, my truth.
Not rebellion. Not sin. Just information.

But I had been trained to distrust myself so deeply, I didn’t know how to feel without apologizing for it.

I was told to “die to myself.” While I understand what that meant,
No one mentioned that myself wasn’t the problem—

And the worst part was that I believed them.

In religion, dying to self looks like:

• Suppressing personal desires, emotions, or will

• Submitting fully to God’s authority or “God’s will”

• Viewing the ego/self as sinful or dangerous

• Letting go of individual identity to embody a Christ-like model of obedience, humility, or sacrifice

But in practice, especially for women, this has deeply damaging implications:

• You stop trusting your body.

• You invalidate your own desires.

• You second-guess your needs, instincts, and boundaries.

• You hand over your power and call it devotion.

At its core, this theology says:
Self = untrustworthy. Obedience = holy.

What if we didn’t need to die to self…
but return to self?
To the part of us that was never separate from the divine in the first place.

The more I’ve healed, the more I realize:
God never wanted me small. Religion did.

And my emotions and intuition are my Divine GPS.

Once, I was accused of ‘not being able to hear from God’ by pastoral leadership when I deeply listened to my inner knowing and spoke something they didn’t want to hear. I had given notice that I was stepping down from my music ministry/musician responsibilities to attend college at 40 as a single Mom. A miracle had happened where I received a scholarship that provided for medical care, vehicle maintenance allotment and other perks that were AMAZING. And, because they didn’t want to lose my talent -

“You didn’t hear from God. Go back and try it again.” Like, what?

What I know now is - Intuition is a gift from the Divine. And your intuition will never steer you wrong.

When I finally stopped outsourcing my truth—
when I began listening to my body (for the first time),
to the heat and tightness behind my chest,
the flutter in my belly,
and the flood of tears that came without words—

That’s when I began coming home to myself.

Sister, listen: Your emotions aren’t your weakness.
They are your compass.
And they’ve been pointing you back to yourself all along.

If you're learning how to trust yourself again after years of suppression and spiritual gaslighting—
I created this for you:
👉 Intuitive Decision-Making Journal: A Guided Journey Back to Your Inner Voice

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🎨The Art of Becoming: Emotional Map Collage

Gather magazines, colored papers, or scribble words/images. Alternatively, do this digitally on your Ipad or Computer. Ask:

• What emotions have I been told are “too much”?

• What do they want to teach me now?

Create a symbolic map with colors, textures, or scribbles.
This is not for beauty. It’s for truth.
Hang it somewhere special. Let it be your new compass.“I no longer collapse myself to be accepted.”

 3 Ways to Reclaim Yourself

60-Second Energy Reset: Cyndi Dale’s Solar Plexus Sweep

Solar Plexus Sweep:
Stand or sit tall.
Place your right hand over your solar plexus (upper abdomen).
Inhale through the nose, exhale with a soft "haaah" sound.
Gently swipe your hand down and away from the solar plexus three times.
Whisper: “I release what is not mine. I reclaim my knowing.”

Why it works: The solar plexus chakra is your personal power and intuitive clarity. This motion calms anxiety, clears cords, and re-centers your authority.

Memes That Preach (better than a pulpit):

💌 P.S. Love Note

If this newsletter met you where you are,
come join us in The Mystical Meadows 

Join The Mystical Meadows

You were never too much. You were always tuned in.
And I see you now, coming home to the power within YOURSELF.
Want to tell me how this landed? Just hit reply—I read every single one.

I love you.

Debby