I got up as usual, made my pour-over coffee, and as I sat down to meditate, I realized something had shifted. The heaviness wasn't there anymore. The ache had quieted and bloomed into something else. I didn't feel like I was fighting my life anymore. It felt... easy. Happy. Comfortable. I had embodied my own skin and started building my life the way I wanted it to be.

I looked around—at the paint-splattered table, the jars of brushes, the sunlight streaming through the windows—and felt something I hadn't in a long time, maybe even ever: aliveness at living life.

For years, survival had been my language. (I talked about that last week!) I knew how to keep going when everything fell apart. I knew resilience. I knew how to bend without breaking. But thriving? That was a foreign concept to me. Until now.

Thriving meant letting myself want things—and meeting my own needs. Heck, even listening to my own needs!

It meant painting for no reason, writing with no plan, and dancing in my kitchen just because the song was good. It meant believing I deserved a life that wasn't just functional but beautiful.

I used to think thriving was something that happened to other people. You know the feeling: the ones who hadn't been through what I'd been through, and the ones who didn't carry the weight I carried. But here's the truth I've learned: thriving isn't reserved for people who've had it easy. It's actually reserved for people who've survived hard things and decided they deserve more than just getting by. And in that moment, I really realized that…I wasn’t living as a victim anymore. I was living as the victor!!

I know that thriving looks different for individuals. It doesn't always mean loud success or public applause. Sometimes it's quiet like mine - a morning where peace is the norm and anxiety isn't, or an afternoon spent making art no one else will see, yet it makes me happy inside. It's when creation replaces coping. When joy stops feeling like a luxury and starts feeling like pure oxygen and your next breath.

Here's what thriving actually looks like:

Thriving is what happens when you stop asking, "Can I survive this?" and start asking "What do I want to create?" It’s a point when you realize you ARE the love you’re looking for - you ARE your own safety, and any friendships, relationships, or connections are crystal clear with clarity, not bogged down with the ‘pick me, choose me’ mentality - but they’re experienced with the highest level of self love and authenticity.

Thriving is the moment you realize you're not just managing your life, you're designing it. You're not just reacting anymore. You're choosing, building, and blooming.

Thriving lives in these shifts:

The body knows when you've crossed this threshold. Your nervous system relaxes. Your shoulders drop. Your breath deepens. And you stop bracing for the next disaster and start reaching for the next possibility.

My litmus test was two days before my surgery - I had paid almost 1K in repairs for my vehicle a day before, and yet it stranded me having the same mechanical problem 30 minutes away from my house. The survival me would have had a FREAK OUT. The thrive me - shrugged my shoulders, left the car there overnight (because I wasn’t paying for a tow) and called the mechanic the next morning. They promptly went and picked it up, diagnosed and fixed the problem. With no additional cost to me. THRIVING!

5 Ways to Move from Surviving to Thriving

1. Give yourself permission to want things.
Survival mode teaches you to minimize your needs and desires. Thriving requires you to name those needs and desires, honor them, and pursue them. Start asking: "What do I actually want?" What lights you up?

2. Create for the sake of creating.
Make something with your hands. Paint, write, cook, garden, dance, sing. Don't create to produce or perform. Create because it makes you feel alive. Creation is the language of thriving.

3. Choose joy like it's medicine - because it is!
Joy isn't frivolous or luxurious. It's foundational. It’s medicine! Seek it out daily, even in small doses. A good song. A warm cup of tea. Sunlight on your face. Five minutes of laughter. These aren't extras—they're essentials. These are my non-negotiables - even in the hospital, even in post op recovery - I AM THRIVING.

4. Build a life that feels like a deep exhale.
Look at your daily rhythms. What drains you? What fills you? Start saying no to what depletes you and yes to what expands you. Thriving requires space, softness, and intentional rest.

5. Celebrate your aliveness.
You made it through things that could have destroyed you. You're still here. That alone is worth celebrating. Mark the small wins. Honor your growth. Let yourself feel proud.

So let me ask you:

Where have you been surviving when your spirit is ready to create?

What would it look like to build a life that feels like a deep exhale?

What if thriving isn't something you wait for—it's something you choose, one small joy at a time?

Sister, if I can go from surviving to thriving, I know you can too. You've made it through the hard part. Now comes the good part. I'm here, thriving and cheering you on!

I am LOVING you as I recuperate and heal!

In the Flow,

Debby

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