I want to share something honest with you about transformation:

This transformation isn’t cliche: I’m talking about the messy, uncomfortable, life-altering kind that changes how you show up in the world.

Over the past few months, I've been doing the deep work.

You may know the exact kind: The kind that makes you want to hide under blankets and pretend you never started. But seriously! I'm talking about intensive emotional and mental timeline work, where I made the conscious choice to sit with a shi(f)t ton of awful emotions instead of running from them.

If you've ever been raised in a high-control religious environment, you know EXACTLY what I mean: That suffocating feeling of never measuring up, of constantly putting everyone else's needs ahead of your own, and being so conditioned to seek approval and you’re SO covered up with it, you don’t even know you and your body have needs.

For nearly 40 years, I lived in that religious atmosphere. Here's what I discovered: deconstructing the beliefs was actually the easy part. The real work that brought me to my knees—was recognizing the patterns where I consistently abandoned myself. And then…going as deep as it takes to uncover the root.

When those breakthrough moments come, they're like spotlights that illuminate everything you couldn't see before.

All those times I said, "But I don't have a choice!" or "It's because of what religion did to me!" or "But my parents..."—these became my escape routes. My detours from the real work. Yes, those experiences were real and they shaped me, and my mind tried to protect me. But here's the hard truth: they also became excuses that kept me locked in a jail cell where only I held the keys.

Our minds create these detours to protect us from seeing that we can step out of the old patterns—but only when we're willing to dig down to the root.

But here's the deeper truth: the hole inside us that we desperately try to fill by looking outside ourselves can only be filled by us.

I'm not here to tell you what to do with this realization, and I'm not here to force you into anything or convince you of a particular path. I'm simply here showing up authentically me, and sharing how this truth has transformed my life—and most importantly, how it's teaching me to live with genuine joy.

Take a moment, if you're willing. What would it feel like to trust yourself completely? To know, without question, that you have your own back? Where in your life might you be waiting for someone else to fill what only you can fill?

That realization changed everything for me. It’s when the ‘shit’ - became the shi(f)t. When you finally know—really know—that you can trust yourself, that you have your own back, everything shifts.

Living a life of joy isn't an accident. It's the byproduct of living in your own love and authenticity.

If you're in your own process of transformation—sitting with uncomfortable truths or questioning patterns that no longer serve you—I want you to know this work matters. You matter. And the person you're becoming is worth Every. Single. Uncomfortable. Moment.

The shift isn't just about changing your mind. It's about finally holding your own keys to freedom! 

I love you!

Debby

What’s Lighting Me Up This Week:

I took Bibi (my campervan) down a winding gravel road deep in the Kentucky boonies, to revisit an old favorite creek spot from growing up. The road dead-ended at a wide creek—rock drop-off to my left, nowhere to turn around. Only one path: straight through the water. I knew it would, and I was excited because it used to give me so much joy!

So I drove right through it, absolutely giddy with joy.

I filmed the whole thing so you could experience it with me. Watch me drive through it below!

Sometimes the most profound joy comes from trusting yourself enough to drive through the creek instead of turning back. What would that look like for you this week?

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