Thunderstorms have always been a happy place for me. 

I grew up in the backwoods of rural Kentucky, and from the time I was small, my Dad taught my brother and me how to read nature—recognizing tree barks, identifying leaves, and noticing how they’d turn “inside out” when rain was coming. Nature gives us so many signals if we pay attention.

My best memories are of sitting on our back porch, watching the rain roll in across the hills and hollers. We could see it, feel it, sense it. I remember standing with my arms and legs outstretched, my long brown hair blowing in the breeze. That was a joy practice, even though I didn’t have words for it then.

Today, as a part of my daily joy practice, I sat on my third-floor deck as a thunderstorm rolled in.

I felt the cooler breeze before I saw the clouds come rolling in. Then came the smell of rain fresh and electric, riding in on the wind. The first raindrop landed softly and eventually, a gentle mist tiptoed across my bare feet. It was heavenly.

This time the rain danced, varying between gentle and hard, but there on my covered deck, I was…safe. Protected.

Here’s the thing:

Somewhere along the way, I stopped being that safe and protected place for myself.
I’ve betrayed myself more times than I can count. I said yes when my whole being said ‘no’! Then ruminating thoughts in my head yelled, “WTH Debby! Why? WHY did you say that?!” And I would get SO mad at myself.

I overrode my intuition so many times I got good at drowning out her voice, no matter HOW loud she sounded. And I got so good at muting her voice that I made myself my own villain.

For years, I poured my energy outward—sharing healing quotes, posting bright words, doing all the “right” things—while inside, my harshest critic held the mic. I was searching for love, approval, and SOMETHING to fill a hole deep inside that I couldn’t fill, no matter what. I desperately looked anywhere for approval and the validation of being ‘picked’.

Guess what I came to realize deep down inside?
The only thing that will fill that hole is me.

Because only I can give myself the love, safety, and belonging I’ve been chasing.
And the same is true for you, beautiful one. No one else can give you what you can give yourself. THAT’s where healing begins.

🎹 Filling Myself Up with Joy
Here’s a little audio of me at the piano last night — no agenda, no practice drills, just me playing because I love it. One minute of pure joy before bed, white noise and all.

Take a listen, and maybe let it be your reminder to do something just because it lights you up.

Listen here → 

I love you SO big!

Debby

Things Lighting Me Up This Week:

• The smell of rain before it falls

• Seagull feathers (Yes, I’m serious!) I found on the shore of East Fork Beach

• Walking barefoot in soft grass

• Laughing my head off with my oldest daughter

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