I’ve decided that the version of Jesus I know now is someone I like.

Hear me out, sisters who have left religion. What I have to say may surprise you.

When I left the church years ago, even the name Jesus was a trigger. I couldn’t speak it, refused to think it, and every time I heard it, the hairs on the back of my neck bristled.

I associated the man, the consciousness, the being, with all things religion, and it wasn’t pretty. Because let’s be real—Christianity is based on his story.

When I was still immersed in religion, I struggled to be enough, do enough, prove myself enough to be accepted by him. Once, I even stood on the side of the bathtub (yes, seriously) to stay awake early in the morning and pray because I was told that’s what “serious Christians” do. (Spoiler: it didn’t work. I am not a morning person. But I tried anyway, because I thought that was the recipe for being heard.)

Fast forward a couple of years. I was flying to Kansas for the first time, headed to an art retreat. My flight was at O’dark-thirty (translation: way too early). As the plane took off, I realized I hadn’t meditated before leaving. So I slipped in my AirPods, put on soft ambient music, and decided to meditate midair.

I started the way I always do; I grounded myself—and then quickly, deeply, unexpectedly, I shot up from my crown chakra into space. In my mind’s eye, I was flying fast, straight toward a silvery purple star twinkling in the distance.

The moment I crossed into its atmosphere, I felt pure love. It was a combination of invitation and alignment, with a sense of timelessness. In that moment, I had nothing to do, nowhere else to be, and there was no running behind, no catching up. Just the here and now. I soaked in it—and it was an incredible feeling of complete-ness.

Then I sensed a presence behind me. And I heard:
“Well hey, sister! It’s been a bit! I’m SO glad to see you!”

I turned inward and knew. I knew it was him. It was Jesus. Innately, intimately, inwardly. He wrapped me in a warm bear hug, smiling a smile that lit up the space. He wore jeans, a t-shirt, and an old denim shirt. And he felt like a big brother I hadn’t seen in forever. I was really surprised because of two things: First, I still didn’t particularly like the idea of Jesus, and WTF was he doing in my meditation?! But the pure, unconditional love I felt was undeniable. I hugged him tightly back, and a flow, a sense of connection flooded me.

And then—something even more profound. A blonde headed little boy peeked out from behind his leg. He looked at me with wide eyes, then recognition flooded his face.

“MAMA!” he cried, and ran into my arms.

I became emotional, picking him up and hugging my son to me, like I’d done the day he was born into the world and passed from it. I hugged him tight, his blonde curls pressed against my cheek, and tears streamed down my face.

I looked at Jesus and mouthed “Thank you.” He smiled and wrapped us both in another hug. In that moment, all was right in my world.

Since then, I’ve returned to that Divine space many times. Sometimes it looks the same, sometimes different—but Jesus is always there. We’ve talked, laughed, teased. He treats me like a big brother would a little sister. Just a few days ago, I side-eyed him and said, “You know what? I’m beginning to like you.”

He threw his head back and laughed a deep belly laugh, then pulled me into a hug.

Leaving religion gave me spiritual liberation, freedom, and truth. And as I heal and peel back layers, I find more of what was always mine—peace, love, joy. But more important than finding them, I’m learning to live and embody those qualities. No need to escape, no need to disassociate. I’m here for it all.

And somewhere along the way, part of that became a wonderul relationship with a big brother who looks nothing like religion told me he did.

And he’s become someone I like.

Yours in the Flow,

Debby

Things Lighting Me Up This Week:

• THIS book: Transforming the Legacy: The subtle body approach to honor and heal your inherited lineage

• Doodling in my sketchbook with no end result in mind

• The wind in my hair

• Little Free Libraries!

I’m part of the Amazon Associates program, which means some of the links I share are affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may receive a small commission (with no extra cost to you).

Daily News for Curious Minds

Be the smartest person in the room by reading 1440! Dive into 1440, where 4 million Americans find their daily, fact-based news fix. We navigate through 100+ sources to deliver a comprehensive roundup from every corner of the internet – politics, global events, business, and culture, all in a quick, 5-minute newsletter. It's completely free and devoid of bias or political influence, ensuring you get the facts straight. Subscribe to 1440 today.

Sign up now!