How do we integrate? In my case, I meditate on it, give it attention by thinking on it, and when the opportunity arises, I put it into motion in my life.

I had no idea I would be given that chance so soon.

In my last newsletter, I was SO excited about attending a Fire Walk. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time, and the date and opportunity were perfect. But remember that asshole named Fear I talked about? Well, hold on to your hat. This is about to get deep real quick.

I had everything planned: what to pack for clothing, what to pack for food, and what to pack for art supplies. I never travel without them. That same day, I had an orthopedic doctor appointment I had been waiting for to get some answers. I’ve mentioned that I’ve been traversing a chronic health problem—and that “problem” has been ongoing pain in my neck that had progressed to the point where it needed prompt attention.

I had an MRI a week prior and was curious about the results. Fast forward to being in the ortho office, and the doctor walks in. He puts the MRI results up on the screen and says, “C’mere, I want to show you something.”

He points to the slices of my cervical vertebrae. At first glance, they looked like they could have been one of my intuitive drawings—layers, squiggly lines, bumps. Until he said, “Look right here. Do you know what that is?” And then he pointed out a squiggly line, and in another view, a dark circle with a white half circle surrounding it.

I slowly shook my head, dread creeping in.

“That’s your spinal cord, Debby. Your vertebrae are squeezing it. In fact, look at this dark circle. See how it’s surrounded halfway with white? That’s supposed to be all the way around. It’s inhibiting your spinal fluid from flowing freely. We need to fix it. Sooner rather than later.”

Those simple words sent everything into fast motion. People came in, explained things, handed me big words, issued me a cervical collar to bring to the hospital. My head spun. The phrases—C3-4, C4-5, C5-6, C6-7, C7-T1 Cervical Posterior Fusion with Laminectomy—flashed before me as the physician’s assistant rattled off what to expect.

Then the ortho said, “I want you to know your life will be forever changed. You won’t lose rotation, but you will lose range of motion looking up and down. We need to fuse your cervical spine together with screws and rods.”

I held it together until I had a surgery date. Then I went to my car and sat there for 30 minutes staring into thin air. And I began to sob. SO many things swirling in my head. Would I still paint? Would I still play music? Creativity is my lifeblood. Would it hurt badly? Would this? Would that?…Then, another wave of grief AND anger hit - he also said no traveling, which meant…no firewalk.

And that’s when I realized Fear snickering and sliding into the driver’s seat. Tears poured, my hands shook, my nose ran. I texted my friend to say I couldn’t come and why. Fear laughed. He drove me home.

But over the next 24 hours, I processed both the enormity of what this meant and how I would respond. I calmly and peacefully talked to my daughters and my parents. And I decided: I can do this. I will do this. And I will come out victorious, free from daily cervical pain. Fear was still an asshole, and I sent him packing—again.

I believe with everything in me that I will paint, play, and still do the things I love. And you better believe I’m painting my surgical collar! If this girl’s gotta wear it, it’s gonna be artsy. No doubt!

My wonderful, dear friend, who has walked with me through every layer of my healing process, explained something in a recent session that rose up in my Spirit the night of the diagnosis. She reminded me there are usually two ways to approach any situation: to do, or not to do. But what if there is also a third way - LOVE? Can you imagine how many lives I can touch positively in that hospital during my stay? How many people I can make smile? How my attitude and energy can bring joy and happiness to people - just by living and being in a spirit of love and authentically ME?

Just by being authentically, purely and totally me. It’s that simple!

So, with curiosity instead of fear, I imagined approaching this situation with the highest level of love, for myself and for everyone else, while still honoring what my body needs. I unapologetically operate from what I call “Creation Power” - a high frequency of love and authenticity, where I speak my truth freely and live with joy. That is how I will navigate this and live my life. Will I succeed? Positively. Will fear try to come back in at some point? Probably. That asshole is persistent. But he won’t stay long, because I will kick his butt clean out the door!

Listen, here’s the thing: Your energy either attracts people or pushes them away. It’s energetic expansion or contraction. When you live from a true frequency of love and authenticity, people feel it. It’s what makes singers magnetic. It’s why people buy books certain writers create. It’s why strangers come up to you on the street and tell you their whole life story. Take a listen at this explanation by Gary Brecka, and you will understand this concept:

David Hawkins’ Map of Consciousness shows love at a frequency of 500hz. But authenticity rises even higher. Authenticity is raw truth. It is love without disguise! It is you, whole and unfiltered.

So yes, I almost got burnt—but not by fire. By fear. And I choose not to let it scorch me. Kicked that sucker clean out of my life. I am choosing love. I am choosing authenticity.

I choose to operate as ME. Unapologetically. And so can you.

Daily Joy Practice
Where has Fear been driving your car lately? I encourage you to write it down. Then name one way you can shift back into love and truth today. Maybe it’s painting, singing, walking barefoot in the grass, or simply breathing into your heart. Do it with intention. Do it with love.

If you need help staying anchored in that kind of practice, that’s exactly why I created The Daily Joy: 100 ways to find Joy in 5 minutes or less. It’s a gentle guide to bring you back to yourself, and into joy, one day, one choice at a time. You can start it right away, and it will walk with you through daily moments and help you choose JOY and HAPPINESS. Download your copy here - no strings attached.

And, if you like this newsletter, share it with someone!

Until next time, I love you. And I’m really glad you are here.

With love and authenticity,
Debby