You know that loop—where one what-if turns into ten more before you’ve even finished your morning (or afternoon) coffee?
Yeah, that one. Welp, me too.

It’s actually a controlled-survival safety script: If I think about it enough, I can control it. If I control it, I’m safe. However many back up plans it takes, I’ve got it COVERED. Then you ruminate and you’ve got a Plan A, Plan B, Plan C and maybe even more!
Only it never actually works. It just keeps the fear and anxiety alive and calling the shots.

This past week, I ruminated big time about my upcoming surgery. I was doing all the necessary things to get ready for it (paperwork, legal papers, supplies at the house, etc). But I subconsciously thought about it so much that anxiety started running the show and clarity/calm was nowhere to be found.

My chest became tight and it was hard to take a deep breath. My mind would not stop the endless circles of what-ifs and hows and whys. Pretty soon, I was in my head instead of my body. And peace was nowhere to be found. I wanted to control the outcome. I felt like I HAD to control the outcome.

Only, the alluring myth of control isn't really true. Control is an illusion, and it’s definitely an energy contractor rather than an expander.

What I know to be true is, safety, peace, and clarity don’t come from control.
They come from trust.

So you know what I did?
In a recent healing session, I visualized an ocean. In my mind’s eye, I was a ship in a massive hurricane, being tossed around like a rag doll, wishing for someone to come and save me. The waves kept getting bigger and bigger, and I felt it all. I stayed in the ship of fear, of the unknown, of the what-ifs. The waves pummeled my ship. Then, in the middle of my mind’s eye came a new revelation: I have a choice.

I can meet uncertainty with curiosity instead of control.

Suddenly, there was another choice! I could choose to turn the constrictive and fearful ‘what-if’ into an expansive, curious…’What if?’

When I made that choice, suddenly in a split second, the ocean was a mirror. There was no hurricane and the ship was gone. Instead, I was the ship. I sunk my anchor and looked down into the water, where it was so clear I could see to the bottom. Suddenly, fear and anxiety were gone and I could breath again. In their place, peace, calm, and trust flooded my body and feeling myself sink back down into my body was the cherry on top.

Uncertainty is an illusion.
When we stop chasing it, trust has room to enter.

Close your eyes for a moment and picture what safety actually looks and feels like for you.
It might not be an ocean.
Maybe it’s a forest path.
Maybe it’s your grandmother’s kitchen, or sunlight pouring through a window, or a comforting sound from when you were growing up.

Let that image come to you—not from your head, but from that deep place in your body that already knows.
Let it speak.
Let it show you what safety really means for you.

Then, when your mind starts spinning again, come back to that image.
Breathe it in.
Feel it.
Because safety doesn’t come from control; it comes from trust.
Trust in yourself.
Trust in Spirit (Universe, Source, etc)
And trust that your safety is found in YOU.

Create your own symbol of safety. Maybe it’s something from your visualization above.
Whatever it is, paint it, doodle it, sculpt it, move it.
Let color and texture give form to what safety feels like in your body.
No rules. No judgment.
Just the flow of what’s true for you, right now.

When you’re done, look at it and remind yourself:
This is what safety feels like.

I’ve intentionally built creative spaces for you to reclaim your voice through art (and NO previous art experience is needed!):

✨ Painting Course: Self-Love Warrior — Loving the Skin You’re In (The Goddess Archetype of Ishtar)
This 60-minute workshop is a journey into the archetype of Ishtar: pleasure, play, joy, ease, and flow. It’s an invitation to paint and reflect on ways to embrace your body, your self-love warrior, and your divine feminine. (Originally taught at the Festival of Feminine Power & ARTistry!)

Remember, every breath is a doorway back home to yourself.
Walk through it. You’ll find safety waiting there.

I love you!
Debby

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