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Art Saved My Life—But I Ran From It!

Many of you first came in contact with my work through an online art retreat, an art medicine festival, the Festival of Feminine Artistry, or maybe the 24-hour Paint Jam. Art is my medicine. And you may have heard me say that art and music saved my life more than once.

But here’s the truth: I ran from both for years.

From as early as I can remember, I loved to create—piles of rocks in the yard, aluminum foil sculptures, Vacation Bible School crafts. Making things was my way of breathing. But then, I stopped. Why did I stop presenting at festivals, retreats, and Paint Jams?

To answer that, I need to tell you about my healing journey.

All my life, I found solace when I created. Making art or playing music put me straight into the Flow; you know, that wonderful place where time stands still and you are IN IT. But life layers itself—complications, grief, and trauma can cloud over the very things that once kept us alive. And, the brain does what it’s wired to do: protect us at all costs. Mine did that well.

At 40, by what I call a miracle, I was offered the chance to go to college and become an art teacher. At the time, I was a single mom of three, no child support, working every job I could get in the medical field without a degree. Forty-plus hours a week, public housing, food stamps, Medicaid. You get the picture; cue the exhaustion and feelings of guilt and shame. I didn’t just think I had made bad choices - I deeply thought I WAS bad.

Attending college for art education felt like an impossible dream, but I walked straight through that door anyway. And I graduated! A BA in Studio Art, a first-generation college graduate, the very first in my family. And the memory of my three daughters cheering and screaming my name as I crossed that stage still makes me cry. I desperately wanted to show them, “Yes, you can do anything. If you dream it, you can do it.”

But the truth is, I wasn’t living that way myself.

By then, survival mode had trained my nervous system to focus only on the next task: work, pay the bills, keep the lights on. That’s what survival mode does—it convinces us there’s no space for rest, art, or joy. Eventually I boxed up my music AND my personal art, shoved it in the back of the closet, and walked away. I created art in the classroom, but it was ‘part of my job’.

Back to my original question: Why did I present at festivals, retreats, and Paint Jams? Because those events gave me oxygen when I was drowning. Each time, I would poke my head above water, breathe creativity, then sink again. I was deeply afraid to be seen. That cycle repeated until I understood that safety and love had to come from within me.

Fast forward to the now. I finally realized how many times I had abandoned myself—my body, my joy, and my authenticity. It was time to take responsibility. But I didn’t know how.

The turning point came when I asked a different question: What would it feel like to love myself? Can I? And I asked the Universe for help. For once, I let go of control and let the flow take me. And the Universe sent me help in the form of a dear friend who has a gift of helping people heal - and uncovering ALL the things, digging to the roots and sitting with me in the shit until I was willing and able to step out of it myself.

Multiple times, tears streamed down my face as I realized I could create love, safety , and authenticity inside myself! For the first time, I felt my body hold me as I began to embody creating safety within me. And - I discovered that prioritizing my own needs was not selfish—it was essential. Now, I’ve found that love, joy, and safety in ME. I continue to peel back the layers and integrate. And I know you can too!

Sister, if you feel like you’ve been running from yourself —always busy, always surviving, always putting everyone else first—I want to tell you this: You CAN stop. You CAN breathe. And you CAN find safety inside your own body.

The first step is - learning to love yourself. Truly creating love inside yourself. One way I learned to do this is a daily joy practice. That’s why I created The Daily Joy: 100 Ways to Find Joy in 5 Minutes or Less. It’s a free guide, written straight from my heart to yours, to help you start creating your own moments of peace and joy every single day. You can grab your copy here.

And if you’re ready to go even deeper, my next creative project is coming soon: Art in the Key of Sshh—an art practice for finding yourself. Together we’ll explore how silence can become a canvas, and how art can teach us to rest in it. Stay tuned. This one has me giddy with excitement!

Yours in the Flow and Loving It!

Debby

Things Lighting Me Up This Week:

• THIS ART! Getting my groove back and creating for ME.

• Gallavanting around in my Bibi van! Windows down, wind in my hair, playing this song!

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